|Theevan Thicklethacklethan, Jr., Sr., III|
|Date of Birth||2012|
|Stage||The Aanadhapuraadam Mountains|
|Unlockable Costume||Fireside Philosopher|
Theevan is spooky. However, he's amazing! Theevan is the eponymous protagonist of Theevan, a dicktackulous movie created eons ago by his father, Danan Thicklethacklethan, who is a timeless being. Said movie has topped the charts in films, TV shows, music, video games, plays, books and comics, paintings, webcomics, anime and manga, and even real life for the past 30 centuries, and it will continue to do so forever. And at the forefront of this huge dynasty of fuckery is none other than the man himself, THEEVAN!
In the movie, Theevan goes on a journey to save Meeya, who is simultaneously his girlfriend, ex-sister, mother, daughter, worst enemy, and brother. He travels over the sweeping landscape of Aanadhapuraadam (if you can pronounce that I will give you all the money I will ever make), battles dildo-flavored sea monsters, breathes, and kills himself in the end because the dragon he wanted to impregnate him was stolen and dragged into a giant stone vagina. Theevan sat, devastated with his corrupted pants, and decided to throw himself into the stone vagina as well. He rested in rest, but nobody cared because he stole Google Images' entire bowl of potato salad and used it to paint his living room. After that, he went on an expedition to Mars and killed all the life there before the scientists could find it.Despite this, Theevan is commonly considered to be among the greatest people to ever live because he is the reason that the ever-feared Anorexic Shreks went extinct. He managed to karate them to death. Theevan may be bald, but he has a big dick and his body fluid is termites. He is also a world-class professional waver and has two creepy-ass friends who secretly want to eat Meeya before he can fuck her right in the pussy.
But you know what's even scarier?
Theevan became popular among the family shortly after Cammy and Kira discovered the amazing film. Said movie would go on to become the absolute favorite Gaming Family Movie, and it was the first movie that Mookie watched with his female companion.
Holy shit.However, I think we can all agree that Theevan's density is nothing but fookin gr8ness.
Theevan also appears as a playable character in our very own All-Whores as an unlockable man. I wouldn't have it any other way.