The Gaming Family All-Whores Randallist Royale is the hiddliest diddliest fighting game to ever exist. It has the Gaming Family's fiercest memes royally duking it out in a positively stupendous tournament that would make even immortal men jizz themselves!
All-Whores will be released for (what is currently planned to be) the PC and Mac as a free game to be downloaded. No DLC, no Will U, no SNES, no Atari. Everything will be totally free, no strings attached, but it will take very very long to make, so sign up. Now. The more, the merrier.
The game's dev team currently consists of the following amazing gentlemen, in order of joining the team:
The game is currently in the creative process. We’re just coming up with ideas and stuff to include in the game. So hang tight and check back frequently. This page will get updated a lot.
Feel VERY free to sign up to help develop the game! We will need all the help we can get, even if it's from outside the Family. Note that everyone in the Family will be credited regardless.
Modes are the various ways in which the game is played; they all set different rules and parameters for how the game is played.
Standard battles. By default, matches will give all players 3 lives, however, you will also have the option to handicap players by giving some more lives than others, and the option to go for a timed match instead. In timed matches, the round ends after 3 minutes by default, and then the player who has the most points wins. In stock matches, however, there is no time limit and rounds end after all players but one have lost all their lives.
There are a few options in Royale Mode to customize how the game is played:
- Stock matches - The default. All players are given 5 lives by default, and this number can be changed, going from 1 all the way to 99. Handicaps are also an option; this allows some characters to have more lives than others to help even things out for less experienced players. Losing all lives causes a character to be eliminated, and the last man standing wins. Sudden death is impossible in this mode.
- Timed matches - Another option. A point system is introduced: KOing an opponent causes the assailant to gain a point, while getting KOed causes the victim to lose a point. By default, timed matches last 3 minutes long, but this can be changed to go anywhere from 1 minute to 99 minutes. There is also a seconds option, where seconds can be added on to a minute by increments of 5. If the match ends and one or more players are tied for first place, the match goes into Sudden Death, where everyone starts at 300% and is unable to grab ledges. Then, the last man standing wins.
- Stock matches and timed matches can be combined, to where characters have lives, but also a time limit, which can both be freely adjusted independently of each other. Here, characters can either win by succesfully KOing and eliminating everyone else before the time runs out, or by having more lives than anyone else when the time runs out. Of course, if two or more players are tied for first by having the same number of lives remaining when time runs out, Sudden Death begins as usual.
- HP matches - A special option that can be combined with stock and/or timed matches. This gives players a health meter instead of a damage percentage meter (the character's weight determines how much health they have). Here, knockback remains the same as it does in normal play; however, as there is no damage percentage meter, the object of the game is to decrease the character's health to 0, where they will be KOd. In this mode, blast lines are repurposed so that a character sent through one blast line will come out of the opposite end instead of being KOd. As stated above, this can be combined with stock and timed matches; it merely changes the way that opponents are KOd.
- Team match - Another special option that can be combined with all of the above matches. Here, there are two to three teams of anywhere from one to three players. The team's score is determined by adding together the points of all its participants, and by default the team members are able to damage and even KO each other, the latter of which will cause point loss for both members.
From here, other options can be set:
- There is an option to display, next to a character's damage percentage/HP bar, their current score in a timed match.
- There is an option for team matches to disable friendly fire, for a more casual team match
- There is an option to disable pausing, for purposes of preventing accidental pausing and/or ragequitting in competitive play.
- There is an option to enable a combo meter which will appear above a character's health bar and count the number of consecutive hits they land on an opponent with them being unable to escape.
- There is an option to disable certain characters from being selected by the random character option.
- There is an option to disable certain stages from beind selected by the random stage option. In addition, you can choose to make matches always take place on the same stage, to make players take turns choosing, and to let the loser choose after a match.
Also, the difficulty levels for CPUs are here.
- Lv. 1 - Simpleton
- Lv. 2 - Pussy
- Lv. 3 - Plebeian
- Lv. 4 - Meh
- Lv. 5 - Gut
- Lv. 6 - Kickass
- Lv. 7 - Hypersniper
- Lv. 8 - Über
- Lv. 9 - Soulless
Players fight through 12 'stages' of randomized battles.
At the beginning, players choose a difficulty level between 1 and 9 (as seen above), which will determine the difficulty of the CPUs they will face. Then, with 5 stocks, the player will begin by participating in one of the battle types listed below, and continue doing these until 12 have been completed, and then the player faces off with the final boss, Joof. Minigames will appear every once in a while to help the player earn more goodies. In this mode, items will never appear under any circumstances outside of the Randallist Ball (unless those are turned off).
Main Events Edit
- One-On-One Battle - Fighting a random character one-on-one on their home stage.
- Team Battle - Fighting a pair of random characters in a team battle, with another random character to assist you, on a randomized stage, which has a 1/2 chance of being the home stage of one of the four active characters.
- Free-For-All Battle - Fighting three random characters in a free-for-all on a randomized stage, which has a 1/2 chance of being the home stage of one of the four active characters.
- Giant Battle - Fighting a random character who is increased significantly in size, with two random characters on your side to fight the giant, on a randomized stage, which has a 1/2 chance of being the home stage of one of the four active characters.
- Multi-Man Battle - Fighting a team of 10 of a random character. The team spawns 2 to 3 at a time, but never more than that. In addition, the characters are significantly lighter and noticeably easier to KO than the actual character would be. It takes place on a randomized stage.
- Deathmatch Battle - Fighting a random character with the HP bar enabled. This means that the goal isn't to send them flying, but is instead to drop their health to zero on a randomized stage, which has a 1/2 chance of being the home stage of one of the two active characters.
- Team Deathmatch Battle - The above option, but with a two-on-two team battle. The characters and the stage are still randomized.
- Mirror Match Battle - Fighting the character that the player is playing as on their home stage.
- Shrinking Battle - Fighting a random character on a special stage that starts out massive, but slowly shrinks down to nothingness as the match progresses. Its ledges are not grabbable.
- Sudden Death Battle - Fighting a random character in sudden death, where both players start out with 300% damage, have one life, and can not grab ledges. Takes place on a randomized stage, which has a 1/2 chance of being the home stage of one of the two active characters.
- Crystal Destruction Battle - Fighting a group of 3 random characters in a free-for-all; however, attacks no longer damage other characters. Instead, a huge structure made out of multiple crystals appears in the center, and all characters must focus on it and attempt to destroy its crystals by attacking them. After one minute, or when all crystals are destroyed, the character who caused the most damage to the crystals (not the character who outright destroyed the most) will be the victor. Since getting KOd is not possible, the character will lose 3 stocks if they come in 4th place, 2 stocks if they come in 3rd, and 1 stock if they come in 2nd. Winning causes no stock loss, of course.
- Godzilla Battle - Fighting a random character in a one-on-one. Both are on a special stage resembling a ruined city, and both are gigantic in size. Attacks are much slower and stronger (damage is multiplied by 5), and movement is slower. Both characters also have drastically increased weight. Defensive maneuvers outside of simple movement are impossible. It is an HP battle and both characters have 300 HP.
- Metal Battle - Fighting a randomized character turned metal. This will always be the antepenultimate match. The metal character has absurdly high weight (they typically will not be KO'd until around 300%), have the knockback and damage of their attacks multiplied by 2.2, and have super armor until they reach 75% damage and light armor until they reach 150%. However, they will never dash, and their falling speed is ludicrously high, making it almost impossible for them to recover if they are knocked offstage. They also will never use special moves, and their attacks in general are slower, although they slowly get faster as the metal character accumulates damage, returning to normal speed at 200% and above. The metal character always starts with the same amount of stocks the player has. This match is always fought on the stage Meta Crystal.
- Rival Battle - Fighting the player character's rival in a one-on-one on their home stage. This will always be the semifinal match, and has a 3/4 chance of being so. The CPU will always be the difficulty initially chosen, so it's all down to skill. Alternatively, it could be...
- Rival Team Battle - The player character makes a team with their friend, and then squares off against a team consisting of the player character's rival and their friend. It has a 1/4 chance of appearing instead of a simple rival battle. Similarly to the basic Rival Battle, all CPUs will always be the difficulty initially chosen.
In addition, special minigames will appear that will help the player unlock goodies if they succeed. Three minigames appear for each time the character goes through one-player mode, and the same minigame is never played twice in the same runthrough. The first minigame happens after the third match, the second minigame happens after These include:
- Break the Targets - The character is sent to a special, obstacle-course-like stage filled with targets that can be destroyed with attacks. If the character can succesfully destroy every target and not get KOd by a hazard or pit, then they win.
- Board the Platforms - The character, on their own special obstacle course stage, must land on 10 special platforms located in various places across the stage as quickly as possible. If they can do this in under a certain amount of time (varies from character to character and difficulty level) and not get KOd by a hazard or pit, then they win.
- Race to the Finish - The character is sent to a special, race track-like stage in the process of self-destructing, with a time limit. The character must run through the stage, avoiding hazards and basic enemies, in order to escape the stage. If they can escape before the stage self-destructs, then they win.
- Defend the Platform - The character is sent to a special stage that consists entirely of a special platform. They are attacked by a constant swarm of basic enemies whose attacks can damage the platform. If the platform takes 150% damage, then it crumbles and the player fails. The player also fails if they are KOd by the enemies. However, if the player and platform both survive for a full minute, the player succeeds.
Once the player completes all 10 matches, they have to fight the final boss, Joof. If they succeed in defeating Joof, then they win the game. Any goodies that they won by beating the minigames are then given to them.
The Joofspace Emissary Edit
The story mode of the game.
In the dimension of Familius, taken up by one endlessly massive planet known as Tegifwiki, the deity Nerdy Randall gathers up the world's mightiest heroes for a grandiose tournament every thousand years, called the Randallist Royale, to decide which champion is strong enough to become a family god. Historically, Joof, the most powerful Family God who won the first Randallist Royale as a gatekeeper of the dimension, but he has gone missing, allowing demonic creatures to enter the realm during the sixty-ninth tournament and attack. The participants are strewn across the world and many of them lose their memory, so they just go around looking for people to challenge or join.
Eventually, one of Joof's disciples, Joof the Syrup God, manages to gather together a small army of memes. The Syrup God tells them of Joof's disappearance, and the lot of them decide to set out to bring him back to power.
Meanwhile, the charismatic and brash demigod Tyson Bandard brings together another ragtag band of boisterous memes. Tyson Bandard, a messenger of the Family Gods, knows of Joof's disappearance as well. However, they decide it is time for a new ruler and set out to keep Joof away and put a new champion in his place.
The Joofspace Emissary is a side-scrolling fighting game/platformer which takes players through a variety of different areas, fighting multiple enemies and bosses along the way.
The game is split up into multiple areas which are completed in a set order, and the story progresses as this happens. From the start, a select few characters are available, but by taking different paths or completing objectives within the levels, different goodies can be found and unlocked, and new characters will join the player's party (or the pool of available characters). Before a level begins, the player must choose a lineup of a maximum number of 5 characters from their party to play through the level with. The level is then started out using the first selected character. If that character is KO'd, then the second character in the lineup is selected, and so on. If the fifth character is KO'd then the player gets a game over and must start the level over (from a check point for some levels).
When a stage is completed, the player receives any goodies they collected during the level, even if they were obtained during a life that ended in a game over.
Before the Joofspace Emissary begins, the player is asked if they would like to unlock characters by completing the game. If they choose yes, then whatever unlockable characters they have in their party when the Joofspace Emissary is completed will be available for unlocking after the main story has been beaten.
Exclusively for the Joofspace Emissary, the physics of all characters are tweaked and equalized slightly to make them better suited for platforming; for instance, most characters jump higher and faster, and especially slow characters will move faster and vice versa.
The player fights every single character in the game (except their own) in a random order. The characters are fought on their home stage, and have slightly decreased power. After every match, the player goes to a rest area where they can relax for a moment. In the rest area, there is a huge pile of 30 food items, which are all set to heal the full 20%. This food does not respawn when the player enters the rest area next, so they must use it wisely.
Online Play Edit
An absolute necessity. Hopefully it will be fully functional. We have no ideas for it yet, so this is a section of nothing. Moving on.
The whole glorious cast, weighing in at a hefty 176 playable characters. Be they memes, beloved characters, or something completely out of the blue, they're all here for one reason. And that reason is to kick ass.
On the roster, each character's slot is visible from the start. Unlocked characters will appear within their slots as a shot of their bust with animated flames in the background, and locked characters will appear within their slots as blurry versions of their bust shots and static in the background.
More information on each character can be discovered in their articles.
These characters are unlocked from the moment that the game is first started and do not need to be unlocked.
These characters must, through a variety of means, be unlocked; that is, a certain set of criteria must be fulfilled before the character appears on the roster. Although I'm sure you already knew that.
When any of the criteria necessary to unlock a character are fulfilled, their locked slot will light up and glow bright blue, and their blurred-out bust shot will occasionally change into its true form, but only around 3 - 4 frames at a time before stopping for 40 - 80 (it essentially flickers). If this slot is chosen, then the character will be challenged to a duel on Final Destination. It will be a 3-stock match with no items, and if the character is defeated, then they will be unlocked and will, from that point on, be playable.
|Unlockable Characters ~ Original 46|
Snizzity Summer UpdateEdit
The first major update to the game, unveiled in Summer of 2014, and the first step of Cammy's reboot. It has added more characters than any other update, and in many ways revolutionized the game. It went from a joke to an actual thing.
|Unlockable Characters ~ Snizzity Summer Update|
Fuckin' Fall UpdateEdit
The second major update to the game, unveiled in November of 2014. While not adding as many characters as the Snizzity Summer Update, it shifted the gears slightly and started to focus on adding characters beloved by the family instead of just memes. It also saw an increase in items, assist trophies, and the amount of characters playable from the start, as well as the soundtrack page detailed below.
|Unlockable Characters ~ Fuckin' Fall Update|
Wang-Whacker Winter UpdateEdit
|Unlockable Characters ~ Wang-Whacker Winter Update|
The areas on which battles can take place. We're trying our best to make all stages easy to play a competitive match on.
Stage of Nerdy Randall
The Sheep Field
Stage of Mr. Weird
Stage of Professional Brawl Player Moox
Stage of Shrek
Stage of Tyrone
Stage of Squidward
Stage of Will Smith
Gren Hal Zoan
Stage of Kunkes
Metal Gear EXCELSUS
Stage of Senator Armstrong
Stage of Nope, Ducklett
Stage of Fucksy
Stage of Stelios and Mudkeep
Stage of Sliver
Oozma Kappa House
Stage of Terry and Terri
The Chum Bucket
Stage of Plankton
Prince Fleaswallow's Flea Market
Stage of PaRappa
Stage of Woody
Reggie's Pimpin' New Leaf House
Stage of Reggiemin
Board Game Online
Stage of Stupid Awal
Stage of SammyClassicSonicFan
Stage of Kermit
Stage of Dr. Keroro
Stage of Ned Flanders
Stage of Pizza Party Man
Stage of Michael Jordan
Stage of Ellie
The Old Faptop
Stage of Necrophone
Stage of Sensei
Wii Fit Studio
Stage of Laura
Stage of Raymond
The Coke Factory
Stage of Diet Soda Girl
Stage of Steve Grim
Stage of Meganman 2.0
Pumkin World Restaurant
Stage of Pumkin
Stage of Mr. Sleep
The Fury Organ
Stage of Coppercab
Pokémon got Talent
Stage of Croagunk
Jeff's Fish Tank
Stage of Phil Dicks
Stage of Ollie
Stage of Cool Guy
Stage of ICarly
Stage of Dicksy
Stage of Ninjabored Man
The XBax 359 Steps X-Backwards
Stage of Chandle-Lure
Inside the Microwave
Stage of Microwave Man
Stage of Ooblar
The Wiki Message Wall
Stage of Sahar40021
The Admin Chat
Squirrel Nutty Ride
HP Smart Adapter
Mickey's Alaskan Dick Smasher
Cliff of the Wall Eyes
Stage of Dio
Stage of Hades
The Dick of Infinity
Stage of Joof the Syrup God
The Fantastic Game
Stage of Vinny
Stage of Princess Cammy
Items, which are designed for casual play (and are turned off by default), will appear at random (and on random areas) and have a variety of wildly different effects to make the game as chaotic and crazy as a party game.
Flamingo Hat - When worn, the character's walk and run speed is multiplied by 1.5. A powerful attack can knock it off, however.
Windows XP Logo - Thrown like a bumper. When hit, it makes the old school startup sound.
Flying Cookie - Projectile, thrown like a shuriken.
Mudkeep Plush - Projectile, bounces along the ground and deals set knockback. Can easily chain multiple hits.
Sam’s webcam - Flies around in random directions when thrown, causing damage and knocking enemies around.
Alex Scream Simulator - A thrown item. It takes the form of a megaphone which spins around. Large sound waves are momentarily emitted from Alex’s screaming to deal ear damage.
The Teletubbie Sun - A rare, powerful item. When thrown, it will rise while slowly getting bigger and stronger, hitting multiple times. Eventually it leaves off the top of the stage, possibly carrying opponents up with it.
The Phone - Can be thrown at others to stick to them, when it will start ringing. Damage and flinching will be inflicted with each ring.
The Joke Book - Elliens.
The Will U Gamepad - Allows characters to float on it in midair by holding the jump button.
Food - Eating it will restore a random amount of health between 2% and 20%. The food that appears can be pizza, Italian cheese bread, an oreo, a golden oreo, a sundae, a potato, a soft-serve vanilla or chocolate ice cream cone, a chocolate heart, a snickerdoodle, a plate of spaghetti, a gob of chocolate chip cookie dough, a Swedish meatball, a can of Coca-Cola, Capri-Sun, a rice ball, a cheeseburger, a pineapple, a peanut, Damnanimals Crunshers, waffles, a slice of chocolate cake, mashed potatoes, a fried chicken leg, a bottle of Mountain Dew, a sugar cookie, Theevan's slice of watermelon, a bag of French fries, haggis, mole, superspicy curry (which doesn't cause fire in this game), a habanero, a milkshake, a bottle of Gatorade, spinach pancakes, a bag of Doritos, peanut butter pie, scrambled eggs, a Dorito taco, tempura, a donut (either plain, glazed, powdered sugar, or beautiful chocolate), a loaf of bread, or the super-rare cocaine turkey (which unlocks Meta Pennis when eaten).
Mystery Food X - It's a whole new concoction... A healing item that can involve cereal, Dr. Pepper, whatever dessert Stelios eats in the tourney, Riley custard, apples, bread... oops we baked too much. And ice cream. It heals a random amount between -50% and 150%. That said, it can actually hurt you for as much as 50%, so pray before you eat one.
Giga Puddi - Embiggens the user. They become heavier and stronger, but their attacks are slower as a result.
Celery - Throwing item which 'poisons' enemies, making them run slower and have weaker attacks for 8 seconds.
Newcastlemhull's Fried Chicken - Battering item which heals the attacker upon a successful hit.
Meet the Robinsons - Splits in half when thrown, resulting in a flurry of disc projectiles bursting out for about 5 seconds. It is one of Joof the Syrup God's attacks, and a more powerful version is used by Joof in the final boss fight.
Pro Emblem - When picked up, all other items disappear. However, it disappears very quickly.
Ninja Badge - It can be worn to reflect all projectiles. Additionally, it has a 1/7 chance of allowing the user to take no damage or knockback from an attack.
Sam’s Toilet Inferno - A powerful item that sucks enemies towards itself when thrown. They are then trapped for multiple hits until the toilet despawns.
Metal Gear Rising USB Stick - A slashing item with an electric effect. It will meteor smash enemies when thrown.
The Kill-Me Bear - It can take knockback. If it is KOd, the assailant will be powered up immensely and heal 47% damage.
Horse Head - If worn, then the character puts on a horse head and they become invincible for 10 seconds while dealing double damage with all attacks.
Walmart Gift Card - The Gift Card grows and can be thrown, which will pierce multiple enemies and cause tremendous damage, knockback, and hitlag. It has a 1/10 chance of being a Walhart Gift Card, and become Wolf Berg instead, which is even stronger.
Time Machine - If activated, the character is left vulnerable. However, after 5 seconds of vulnerability, everyone is transported to the future, thus randomizing all stocks/points and damage percentages, adding anywhere from 5 to -5 stocks/points and 200% to -200% damage.
Saltshaker - Can be picked up and used to attack. It makes characters salty, thus inverting their controls for 6 seconds. It can only be used once, however.
Pringles - Once you pop (activate the Pringles), you can't stop (performing combos because it makes your attacks deal triple the hitstun).
Smash Mouth Egg - When thrown, he rolls around and sings his song, hitting multiple times and dealing a lot of shield damage. He disappears if he succesfully breaks a shield.
Shiny Katana of Epicness - Very rare. When picked up, a cinematic occurs, and the character holding the Shiny Katana of Epicness will run at and slash all enemies, dealing incredible knockback and most likely OHKOing them.
Danger Dings - An item that replaces certain attacks with stabs using the infamous bronze lance. While already powerful, these stabs have a 1/8 chance of dealing critical damage and tripling said power.
Lavin Sword - A battering item that has limited uses, but is very powerful. It causes paralysis, and when broken, can be picked up and thrown one last time.
Nudes - An item that, when thrown, will stick to an enemy and stun them for a long while, but simultaneously heal them.
Portable Masturbation Hut - Similarly to the nudes, when picked up, the holder will enter the Portable Masturbation Hut and sit still while regaining health at a constant rate for up to 6 seconds. They heal at a rate of 3% per second, except for the final second, during which they heal 10% for a total of 25%. This cannot be cancelled unless hit by a knockback-dealing attack. If hit by a water-type move, the character in the masturbation hut will take 7% in electrical damage.
I am Bread - A slice of bread appears on the stage, and a toaster appears in a randomized spot. If somebody manages to hit the bread into the toaster, then the toaster explodes, creating a massive fireball that causes OHKO damage to all other enemies, while completely healing the character who hit the bread into the toaster.
The Randallist Ball Edit
A sphere made of pure, concentrated Randallist Energy. Accompanied by a recognizable glimmering noise and a flash of light, it will crystallize from concentrated Randallist energy at a set interval in a match (see below) and remain in the middle of the stage for 20 seconds, before dissipating. If any character attacks it enough to break it before it disappears (it can take 75% damage before breaking), then that character will instantly activate their final smash, an unblockable cinematic super attack that will instantly KO everyone on the screen under all circumstances. The Randallist Ball is unique from all other items in that it has its own settings. The interval at which it appears can be adjusted; the minimum is 45 seconds, and that can be added to by increments of 5 seconds until it reaches the maximum of 5 minutes.
By default, the Randallist Ball is turned on, and appears once every 3 minutes.
Assist Trophies Edit
- THAT Guy - Pops up, causing damage, and then being an obstruction who can block attacks and projectiles.
- Dre - Talks incredibly fast, traumatizing any nearby enemies.
- ObsidiusFan - Will choose a random enemy and become horny for them, then grab them and hump their leg repeatedly, causing damage similar to a pummel.
- Jellicent - Fires a water blast, which deals no damage but pushes enemies away powerfully.
- Jeff’s mom - She will wash a random opponent's hair and the opponent's traction will be reduced to 0 for 10 seconds, meaning they slide infinitely after getting hit while shielding. Or after they stop running.
- Cooking Mama - Throws random dishes at random players, usually Riley's faliure of a custard.
- Ralph Wiggum - Says lots of his smartererest quotes such as: i like men now, asking why this game isn't for the "Super Nintendo Chalmers" and "DADDY. SOMEONES LOOKING AT ME."
- Sakurai The Green God - Masahiro Sakurai appears, then floats to the top of the screen and fires gold bars from his finger tips, which move slowly but have great range.
- Torchic - For Mav, does what it does in Brawl.
- The Kid - I Bloody Command, The Kid will Bloody command the player, meaning that he can control the player. The player becomes a Soulless level CPU.
- Caddicarus - Pulls 'FLAWED.' from his pocket and flings it at enemies. He repeats this 3 times, then sucks all the FLAWEDs back in and breaks them into three of every letter. Then he goes to the center of the stage and launches all of the letters in a spiraling pattern.
- TDM - Fucking usless, sits there motionless for 10 seconds and disappears.
- Creepy piece of shit - Opens up his Hentai DVD case, causing tentacles to appear from it and attack the enemies.
- Elliens - The Last of Unlockable Assist Trophies
- The Crocodile - I forgets he name, but u know who i r talks about.
- Recit - He’ll kill you for calling him garbage.
- Porice 69 - He runs up to the enemies and shouts "STOP! THAT'S FUCKING IREGAL!" and rapidly fires bullets.
- Pikaspam - From the Gaming Family Brawl Tourney, PUBES the Pikachu launches opponents up and then thunderspikes them.
- Lon’qu - Dashes a great distance at every enemy onscreen once, his sword extended. If the hit connects, it has OHKO potential.
- The Flying Spaghetti Monster - Flies in and attacks enemies with homing meatballs.
- CDi Luigi - Throws lotsa spaghetti at enemies to tie them up, leaving them vulnerable.
- A Private Investagator - You want to fuck with him?
- The XBAX One - Falls through the stage, followed up by a huge widescreen TV that covers much more space. Both of them hit enemies upwards powerfully.
- PJ - Gathers all foes around for Spartamixfan Story Time, and then he reads a Red Steel 2, Irish Life, Worst Spongebob Episode Story time, leaving the sitting down foes vulnerable to the assist user who is free to attack.
- oh - oh falls from the sky and sits there for the rest of the match. It serves as a platform.
- Jeff's cousin - Twerks around with his asshole exposed, traumatizing opponents and freezing them, giving the person who summoned him a chance to pack up a lot of damage. In addition, enemies take no knockback while traumatized so they can be damaged incredibly heavily.
- Elton John - Changes the track of the stage to one of his famous hits that nobody likes. It causes enemies to repeatedly taunt uncontrollably, leaving them vulnerable.
- Chess Pieces - A ton of chess pieces, both black and white, stampede over the stage.
- Scoop - Lifts up the player in front and back, drives full speed ahead off the stage and flings them in opposite facing directions of the stage, making it hard to recover. What a jrek.
- Patricia Star - WHIPS HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH ain't that right daughter will smith? The hair causes damage to nearby opponents and slowly grows to eventually cover the whole stage before she despawns.
- Baby Mickey - Actually, he's gigantic. First he falls onto the stage and buries any grounded opponents, then he tries to punch and smash them, causing insane damage. However, he rarely appears.
- Bonzi Buddy - Blows kisses at enemies to stun them, then finishes them off by whacking them with a shitty Windows Toolbar.
- Jerma - Throws a burgah at the character who summoned him, completely healing them and doubling their attack power for 15 seconds.
- Swagrid - Fires a swag beam from his beard that causes immense damage to players, then floats away with his pink umbrella.
- Santa Claus with a Chainsaw - Attacks enemies with his chainsaw, causing incredible damage but no real knockback. After 5 rounds of chainsaw attacks, he will switch to grabbing opponents and then trying to dunk them over the ledge, a powerful meteor smash.
- Succubus - Not the DmC one. When she appears, everyone screams SUCKASBUS and gets traumatized. The Succubus proceeds to attack with fire breath and her pitchfork.
- The Britfoxes - Mikefox and Stelifox appear and then select an enemy. Stelifox then side smashes him and hits him into Mikefox’s reflector. The opponent is reflected back at Stelifox, and the process repeats.
- I. M. Meen - I. M. Meen appears and starts singing his song. He sings the whole song, which may distract other fighters, and is invincible. As he sings the last lines of his song, he will throw his book at a random enemy, trapping them inside the book. The book can then be picked up as an item by the summoner, and can be thrown at others or thrown off the screen for a quick KO.
- Stelioshair - Stelioshair appears onstage and then charges back and forth, headbutting enemies and turning around when he reaches a ledge. His afro slowly grows in strength until he despawns, eventually becoming an OHKO. In addition, his back serves as a platform so he can be ridden.
- Ginger Bird - Ginger Bird appears and then flies to the far left or right side of the stage. He then summons a slingshot and shoots himself across the screen, also summoning a legion of Pissed Brids to follow up.
- Mr. Clipboard - Mr. Clipboard comes in and then starts spraying Brand X detergent at everyone. It deals no damage, but pushes them away powerfully. All the while he walks around the stage in his odd, drunken manner.
- Nathan Swift - Nathan summons two clones of himself and together, they kick a soccer ball upwards powerfully, using Dark Phoenix to turn the stage completely black for 8 seconds.
- Dashing Black Man Holding Dangerously Large Dorito - Throws his Dangerously Large Dorito, which starts by traveling along the borders of the screen and slowly starts closing in on the center while growing in size. While this happens, the man himself runs around attacking people with jumping kicks.
- Roy the Save Fairy - Roy appears and will follow his summoner around until they are about to get KOd. Then he will use his magical fairy powers to give them the ability to act out of helpless mode twice.
- Volfemort - Warps in and takes out his wand, then shouts AVODO KADOOVER and shoots out an extremely fast and powerful green projectile.
- Future Hoody - Future Hoody comes barreling out of the assist trophy and then throws a jar of peanut butter at enemies. It has over 5 seconds of hitlag (meaning the enemy freezes for five seconds before taking knockback), allowing the summoner to hit the victim for additional damage and knockback.
- LO - When he is summoned, all of the enemies and items turn into LO and fall straight down. They do not take knockback, but they do take damage, so they can be attacked and damaged at will. Enemies will be normal again after 8 seconds. If an opponent is offstage when LO is summoned, they will be KO’d for sure.
- Ground Sandvich - He walks in, rolling a huge ball of miniguns with his feet, and then stops to fire a few homing projectiles out of his feet. Then, the miniguns all rev up, choose an enemy, and fire at them relentlessly for about 7 seconds, causing absurd damage. The noise is extremely loud.
- Crazy Bus - Drives very slowly along the stage, making a droning noise. An OHKO if touched.
- The Attorney - The Attorney from Super Mario Sunshine arrives and speaks his monologue, as performed by Ty. A large speech bubble will appear that obscures the damage percentages.
- Rogue - Rogue the loud-ass dog appears along with a bed. If any enemy player gets near the bed, Rogue will start loudly growling. If they do not leave within 3 seconds, then Rogue will leap at them, claws extended, and OHKO them if the hit connects.
- Toxic Semen - Toxic Semen creates a large orb of a toxic liquid (guess what), then throws it forward. It bounces off of the blast lines and grows larger and faster with every bounce, as well as ascending. When it reaches the top of the stage, it despawns.
- Dante - The game features Dante from the Devil May Cry series. He appears, enters Devil Trigger form, and then starts slashing everyone with Yamato.
- Mudkip Trainer - Mudkip wearing a Pokemon Trainer outfit appears and sends out several naked men to fight for it. The men will choose an enemy and dogpile on top of them, immobilizing them and causing chip damage.
- Link Batman - Link Batman rides in on Bat-Epona and attacks with his Batsword, Gale Batarangs, and other narcissistically-named weapons.
- The Kind Person - The Kind Person arrives and spouts loads of gibberish, accumulating damage across the whole stage. The closer you are to him, the more damage you'll take.
- Dweebus - Dweebus pulls out a test tube of his new formula and decides to test it. He throws it on the ground and watches it erupt into a huge and powerful pillar of flame.
- Far Cry 4 Elephant - The elephant stampedes through the stage, picking people up with its trunk and throwing them everywhere.
- The Egg - The Egg emerges from the depths of hell and attacks people with his wrestling moves.
- Coat Hanger - He runs around and punches people with extreme power. However, he will flinch and be interrupted if hit with a strong enough attack.
- Yokoko and Kanji - The Purse Owner duo lock onto a target, and then perform an all-out attack on them, trapping them for immense damage, but not a lot of knockback.
- Krispy Kreme Man - He jumps and flips several times, attacking people with his kicks and neon sign projectiles.
- Crazy Drummer Man - Arrives, rips his toes off and then throws them at people in between attacks with his drum.
- Shulk - Uses BACK SLASH and then proclaims that he is really feeling it. Back Slash is an instant KO.
- Asshole Subway Guy - He runs in and dropkicks a pumpkin at somebody, instantly KOing them.
- Blue - Blue flies in on his German flag and hovers to the top of the stage, then performs a blitzkrieg with a variety of very powerful lightning attacks. He might even join the battle some day...
- Starfish Hitler - Arrives and fights with spinning attacks and an elegant rapier.
- Straight Pride Man - Runs around and indiscriminately attacks enemies with his penis.
- The Basketball Lolis - Initiate a cinematic, working together to perform a flaming slam dunk on all opponents, KOing them.
- Captain Horsey McSwaggington - Runs in with his giant robotic suitcase, then initiates a cinematic. He mounts it on his horse mask and watches in awe as it transforms, grabs his dick, wraps around his chest, and transforms into a giant battle mech with a crotch-mounted plasma machine gun. He then rampages across the stage with punches that hit like a freight train and barrages of plasma from his penis.
- Luma - Appears and attacks with some of its moves from Smash, like its jab infinite which REALLY needs patched.
- Alastrina - Cammy’s ever-famous sister somersaults into the arena. She may grab them and beat several oceans of fuck out of them, dealing huge damage. However, she may also
- Spooky Kong - Runs in, then attacks with barbed wire and his super panches.
- Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Wrap around an enemy and then hump them at hyperspeed. They then yell their names and orgasm to blast the enemies away, and disappear.
- Gordon Ramsay - Throws failed dishes at opponents while screaming.
- Dillon the Hacker - Hacks opponents, causing the inputs of their attacks to be randomized.
- Buzzigigas - Goes to infinity and beyond and shoots a huge multihit beam.
- Quick Man - He’s the leader of the bunch, you know him well, and he’s finally back to kill Mega Man! His quick boomerang can fire in spurts. If he hits ya, it’s gonna hurt! He’sbiggerfasterandstrongertoohe’sthefirstmemberoftheWowyCrewHUH!
- layla - Barks, causing a very slow soundwave that stuns an opponent for 30 seconds. It causes opponents to take no knockback, which means a ton of damage can be tacked on to them.
- Mister Doctor Little Mega Dark King Game & Pac-Kirbarioninjamusink Donkey Lumariocariopeasheik R.O.B.I.N. Paluyoshulkcina Jigglybowsey Kongager Ikeachu the Robot the Hedgehog the Robot Jr. and Toon Piknesstwo Trainer and Zero Suit Falcomin and Captain Meta Foxizardma Ganondeldarth Hunt Jr. - If summoned, the stage is destroyed for 10 seconds.
- Paul - Initiates a cinematic where he completely heals his summoner and multiplies their power by 10. He is extremely rare.
- Anime Fucker - Thrusts his dick forward, blasting out title cards of various animes to deal damage.
- The Skull - Runs up to someone and initiates a cinematic, hitting them in the face with his F-Zero trophy and dealing high damage while knocking them down.
- Hula Man - He just started slicing people.
We're doing our best to find a way to make Smash Bros-style gameplay work on what is currently just the PC. To see the control scheme (a work in progress), go here.
If you want to see (hear?) the songs that we have chosen to play in the game, then click here. It, too, is a work in progress.
Every day, one of the directors, MassiveHero Stelirai, will be adding a screenshot from matches during his coffee break with a description.